If I Had Known Then...

Last week, I returned to Sumgayit.  It wasn't the first time since I got out of PST (Pre-Service Training) that I went back, but it was the first time I went back when a new group of trainees were also there.  The AZ7s have arrived and are going full force into cultural immersion in Sumgayit trying to learn the subtleties of the culture and gaining language and work skills to function as a volunteer.  

Going back was probably one of the strangest experiences I've had in this country.  It wasn't bad, at all, but it was incredibly surreal.  I was in the same exact place I was a year ago watching a new group go through what I and my fellow 6s went through.  It was odd being on the other side seeing them adapt to the 'wonders' of Sumgayit for their first real week and suddenly becoming qualified to lead a session at a Hub Day (and not playing Scrabble in the back row) and being a source to answer questions about volunteer life.  I guess we're officially not the newbies anymore.

With my return to Sumgayit was also my return to my old host family.  That was pretty much the one condition I had upon returning to facilitate a session.  I wanted to stay with my family.  Volunteers aren't supposed to go into Sumgayit when the Trainees are there; so, to be able to go back while they were there and do everything I wanted to do was nice.  In returning to my family, I essentially returned home.  A year ago, I was the bumbling quiet American girl in that house trying to communicate in baby phrases and barely making appearances out of my room. Not saying I'm not still that person in some ways... I definitely still pause in conversation, but it was easy this time around.  My family has a new Trainee staying with them this year and it was amazing to be able to serve as a translator and a guide of sorts for her.  I broke that family in for an American and seeing how comfortable she already seems to be... well, you can tell.  I can honestly say, full heartedly, that I love that family.  When I go there, I am in the company of a group of people that genuinely cares for me and enjoys my presence however bizarre it may be.  My dad still jokes with me about playing sports and is still proud when I tell him how games go and how many points I score.  My mom still brings up all those embarrassing stories of my first weeks in country while still being the most loving and animated woman I know here.  And, my sister still teaches me new things about my family and gives me fabulous back massages.  My days back home were incredible and filled with laughter, great food, fun stories, and, yes, a few misunderstandings, but it was cozy, familiar, and secure.  I also came home with 3 jars of my mom's murabbe (fruit preserves), so that was a bonus.

Since I was there on Sunday as well, I found myself at a familiar hangout - the Dove. The Dove is a spot where, every Sunday, you could find an American.  PST is filled with language classes, training sessions, studying, homework, and other tedious assignments.  Sundays were our only day off.  So, at the end of the week, some of us would play some soccer and/or grab a beer (or more) to unwind until we began another intense and tiring week.  I made a comment to the 7s there that it was surreal being in that same exact spot I probably was a year ago but with a whole new group of people.  As out of place as that is for me now, it was a good experience being able to go back and get to know the new group on a more social level in an environment I knew well.  

If I had known then what I know now I would've been able to get about and understand more, but I would have also lost the extreme optimism I had when I first came in.  It was surprising to see how into Peace Corps they are right now and it was a shocking experience for me to see how far away I've gotten away from that this past year at site. It was nice to be reminded of the excitement and enthusiasm that I might have lost.  I think it is extremely beneficial to take what I learned from this return to my Azerbaijani roots and return to site with a different attitude about my service.

So, thank you Sumgayit, family, AZ7s and new friends for those good days, the flood of old memories, and the needed mental refresher.