City sidewalks, busy sidewalks...

So, this is Christmas. I cannot completely lie and say that PC life is at all what I envisioned it to really be, even when I so often claimed to be so ignorant to not even have an idea. Sometimes things just seem so normal here and I can displace myself so easily. Those moments are something I really enjoy when they come.

The other day after leaving work, I went outside to a temperature pretty similar to the inside. I started walking around and took in the moment as much as my cold body was able without thinking of myself shivering and trying to warm up. Once walking, I was not as cold as when I’m stationary and so I was able to take it all in. I was walking in a city that’s decorated in lights, the people were putting up the New Year’s tree, and there was snow coming down. “Silver Bells” came into my head and that moment was something special. I didn’t feel like I was in Azerbaijan while walking down the street with a skip in my step humming the tune to myself and the one’s that came in close enough proximity to me. I came home to a cold room able to see my own breath and decided to make myself a French presses’ worth of coffee. I drank it on the floor while reading a book and listening to music on my iPod speakers. This was just one of those moments where I pictured myself doing the exact same thing if I were anywhere else. I thought of all you back home and tried to think about what you were doing at that same exact moment… I pictured some of you finishing up Christmas shopping in the rushes of Mayfaire/Mayflower and/or places of the like, some of you baking in a warm kitchen, some of you watching TV trying to relax a bit, a few of you were working, but thinking of when you wouldn’t be, and one of you was doing pretty much the same exact thing I was doing. 6300 miles away, my guesses and thoughts of you could have all been completely false, but I’m pretty confident there are some truth to them. If not, hey, that was my idea of you guys and I was comforted in seeing you in familiarity.

That’s my story for the day. Thank you for reading. I miss you all and find that my thoughts are constantly coming back to warm wishes for you all. Enjoy this season sans me being physically present… you should all know, like I know, that I’m still there, some part of me. The part that lives in thoughts and memories at the moment. I know you are all still with me.

Merry Christmas, friends and family, and Happy New Year, just in case I don’t write before then.

Ming love.

This is me and my cluster being awesome after swearing in as volunteers. Amazing.























Okay, so me putting pictures on here was a lame attempt this time, sorry! But, hey, at least here's an update!

I've sworn in, moved, and am now serving as a PCV in Mingechevir. Moving wasn't really an issue and getting readjusted to a new part of Azerbaijan is going well. I love this city and am thoroughly excited to be here. I do miss some cool cats from PST, but life goes on and we're all doing what we came here to do. Mingechevir is pretty spectacular, though, so far.

I got my new address, here it is:
Kim Joyce
Samad Vurgun
Kuch 20
Mingechevir, AZERBAIJAN
AZ 4500

Any love letters are much appreciated and read thoroughly.

The other pictures are one of me and my Sunday Soccer crew and the other is me in Baku... I actually think that picture's center is neat. Thanks to either Hannah or Alison taking that one.

Internet has been limited lately. I'll think of something super awesome to write about and I'll talk to you all soon.

Happy December!

To start out, here's an interesting statue located at the Aquapark in Sumgayit.

Now that that necessary image is posted for you delight, Happy December! This month is especially exciting for me because 1. I swear in as an official Peace Corps Volunteer and 2. I move to my permanent site, Mingechevir.

I've pretty much finished PST... only 2 hub days left.

Though this timeis thoroughly and completely exciting, it's also a bit sad. Now that we're finished training, all 61 of us go off to our sites. Yes, some of us are placed with each other, but it's not the same. We'll all be spread out and starting to really work. It's great, really, as that's what we're here for, but I can't deny that I'm really going to miss having everyone around.

Hopefully, at site, I'll have better internet access and can update more regularly. I should be able to as my workplace has internet, but it's slow at times, so I'll have to see where my patience is on that given date. I promise, though, I will try a lot harder. Ifully admit I've been lax since being here.

Here's another picture... this one of public transportation in AZ. The YD people are in a marshrutka in this one. One day you'll hear me tell stories of marshrutka experiences.

Okay, final note, I'll get you all my new address next week. I don't have it right now, so hold off on any love notes or care packages for a few.

Love and miss you all.

My cluster.

I have a rockstar (dashulduz) cluster in my region. A cluster is pretty much your core group during PST and the people you hope above anything else that you click as these are the people you probably spend the most time with outside of yourself. Not only do I have an incredibly awesome cluster, my LCF is a completely incredible person. We have The Office marathons as often as possible and get along pretty fabulously. I lucked out in this part of my PC experience, as well. One of my cluster mates is Hannah; she’s from NC, too. She went to Meredith (her last college, she doesn’t claim it), enjoys spending time in the hamam (when she’s able), and throwing words around like “homegirl” and “rockstar” and Hannah also thoroughly enjoys various potty humor. Amy hails from glorious CA where, apparently, packages don’t escape from and, if they do, it’s rare. She’s sarcastic, fun, and yearns from independence in a dependent environment. Amy tends to be the most empathetic of our group and, though she fights it, is probably the most mature in many ways. Alison (one L) is my neighbor and walking buddy. She probably hears more than she ever wanted to about my thoughts, feelings, and the way I perceive things and, for that, she deserves a very large gold star. She’s a sweet girl that comes from outside of Boston, so she automatically gets points for being from where Ellen’s from. We share a love for old WB shows, Friends, and Gartopu. Anyone who comes across Alison will probably immediately recognize her for her never ending and always different facial expressions. The last person of the PCTs in my cluster is Jake. The key guy in our group, he’s completely fly, is a walking billboard for Augustana college in Azerbaijan, and has a love for Mars candy bars. He’s seen as somewhat of a playboy by the school kids as he’s always surrounded by girls… and that doesn’t just include the cluster. School girls love him, school boys want to be him, and we, the cluster, thoroughly enjoy his moments of wisdom, his verbal expressions in reaction to classroom events, and his sheer randomness of actions… as well as his impeccable comedic timing. The person that attempts her very hardest to hold us all together and under control is Sabina, our LCF. She deserves the largest raise known to LCFs after having to put up with us. She’s pretty amazing, driven, and motivated, which is something to be recognized. At a mere 20 years old, she’s accomplished more than a majority of people her age. I hope to continue to be able to know her once PST is over.

These are the people I am probably going to miss the most from my first adventures here in Azerbaijan.

Delay, still on.

Okay, so this is what I'm thinking.. no computer in Azerbaijan is going to let me post the blog I wrote with all the pictures. I'm pretty sure that my file is too large and it's not working when I try to paste it onto this blog. I need to rework my strategy and fill you in then.

Just know, I am well and things are good. Swear in is in less than 3 weeks and thenI will be out in Azerbaijan as a 'real' volunteer. I'll make a new account on a picture site once I get to site and put up pictures through that is it honestly proves to be completely ridiculous on the blog. Or, I'll just come into my office and spend hours doing it so I can show you all my life.

My lesson learned from this: don't wait too long with documents and pictures... files become impossible to convert around.

And, I just tried on this computer to put a picture up... no go. I'll figure it out.

Update?

Hey all,

Lame at blogging, sorry!

I did write an incredibly massive blog, though, but this computer isn't picking it up on my flashrive. I did save it on here, I know. But, on the off chance something weird happened, that would severely suck because it had pictures and everything. I swear, though, I saw it on the drive before I came to the Internet Club.

So, I am thinking of you all, sorry for the delay. Hopefully it'll be up soon.

CrAZy!

Feeling like a small fish in an even smaller fishbowl.

It's good, though. Internet is a luxury for me now, so updates aren't coming in as rapid as I thought they would. The Internet klub is about a mile and some away, not a bad walk at all, but when it's raining, I tend not to want to go.

Also, really, I've been so consumed in trying to learn a language; time hasn't been my friend. I go to sleep early now, I feel like an oldlady all the time, but I'm getting used to the time.

My host family is great. I'm working on a video glimpse into my life, coming soon. Food has been pretty good. Making friends has been great, too.

Very basic, I know. I keep up with a lot of you, more thoroughly, through email. If you want more, email me. kj0869@gmail.com

Salam from Sumgayit/the 21st Microregion!!!

I think it's country code 0994-51-8705972

I'll let you know more later. I'll be out of touch, I don't know about internet. I'm at a cafe at the moment.

Call me if you can sometime. Phone cards should be decent compared to me. When I find out more about the situation here, I'll figure it out more. It costs a fortune for me to call out. I get free incoming calls. Texts are cheap for me.

Moved in with host family. Very overwhelming! It's so hard and difficult not being able to communicate. It finally hit me that, I, in fact, was in Azerbajan and I felt the gravity of it all.

Share this with people you think to share it with.

Love and miss you all,

Kim

Hello from the Caspian Sea!

In Azerbaijan!  Crazy!  

The past 4 days have been a huge rush of wild madness!  

From Philadelphia, we went to JFK in NY and waiting forever, it felt.  Eventually we flew off to Frankfurt and hung out.  That flight was so long!  I had wine spilled on me twice as well as a sprinkle from an open water bottle above head.  It was all right, though.  I didn't sleep at all, so by the end of that flight, I was hallucinating and that was hilarious.  In Frankfurt, nothing too much happened.  We took a flight from there to Baku and got in later last night.  We all came to the hotel where elevators don't exist, so it was insane watching, helping, and being part of a group of 61 take their luggage for 27 months up stairs!

Today was the first day of in country training.  I've learned basic language, need to work on remembering it.  I can say who I am, what I do, where I'm from - all in the most basic terms.  A few other things like "i don't know," "thank you," "okay," and "not good."  It'll come.  These next 12 weeks are going to be intense.

All right, I'm done with being a computer nerd and head down to spend time with my people.  I miss you all!

Oh yeah, if any of you are planning on sending me a letter or package, can you please put in an armband or thick bracelet so that I can cover my wrists?  I would greatly appreciate it.  And then I can think of you when I wear it.  :)

Staging with a side of Brotherly Love

In Philadelphia for staging right now.  It's been a long day of becoming oriented.  

I flew in this afternoon.  I said goodbye to my family and had my last Bojangles breakfast before I flew away.  It still hasn't really hit me yet, I don't know when it's going to.  I did get quite flustered and anxious for a little bit at RDU.  Flight was fine and I arrive safely.  Carrying my baggage around proved to be quite a workout though, whew.  This day feels as if it's been at least 3 days jam packed into one; I really don't know what to say about it yet - I haven't processed it.

I can say, though, that I think this is the right decision for me.  I'm part of something here and it's good.  I've met some neat people and have had a ton of fun talking to them, so I'm happy with day one of the experience.  These people will be my primary network for the next 27 months and that is wild!  24 hours ago, I didn't know any of them.

All right, quick update, off to bed.  More staging at 8:30 in the morning.  We get out at 6, so it'll be a fun night of last minute US partying and hanging out around the city.  

I miss you all!

Mail, Mail, Snail Mail.

For the first 3 months (9/23-12/8):

Kim Joyce, PCT

AZ 1000

Main PO Box 77

Peace Corps

Baku, AZERBAIJAN

For anyone who would like to send me things or whatever from home (you all know I'm a sentimental person), here's some really great information (thanks to other volunteers for information and ideas):

-Mail generally takes around 10 days, I hear, but could take up to weeks.  Good to know if there's any special timing to anything.

-The Peace Corps suggests that writers number the forms of communication.  So, if I'm in my place and I receive a letter marked 1 and 3, I know something's up with number 2 and I lost some valuable words and communication.  I think it's a good idea.

-The first 3 months, think small.  I'll have to repack and take my things to my site after training... after packing here, I don't think I'll be able to fit much more in bags.  

-I will most likely not be the first person to see what you're sending me.  So, camouflage (I heard tampon boxes work fabulously) and please don't send really valuable things that we would be completely heartbroken to lose.

-This link is everything you need to know about shipping & mailing to Azerbaijan from the US. Here are the basics: First Class Letter or Postcard will be about $0.94, Priority Mail International Flat Rate Envelope will be about $11.95 and Priority Mail International Flat Rate Boxes will be about $38.95 (regular size) and $49.95 (large size).

There you go, mailing 101.  :)

My country.

I've been referring to each Azerbaijan and the U.S. as my country as of late.  Right now, when I say "my country," I'm typically referring to Azerbaijan as the audience are my counterparts in the U.S.  Natalie asked me what I was going to say when I am finally in Azerbaijan and I easily spouted that, then, I would refer to the U.S. as my country.  With this thought, it made me think about what it was I am going to claim the U.S. for, and, the thing I've realized most is that it's not the country in itself, it's the people within the area.  And, for the country itself, the freedoms I'm afraid I'll be forced to forget about and let go for a bit.

The most pertinent question I've been on the receiving end of is how I am going to cope with gender roles and difference while away.  I honestly don't know how it is in reality there, so I've been putting that issue in the back of my mind as I cannot know how it will be until I am living it.  Speculation is well and good, I enjoy looking at every angle, but the truth at the moment is is I'm ignorant to how it will really be.  Yes, I know I will have to push aside my anti-authority, establishment, and systematic notions, but I can see that in that case, I will be forced to expand my mind.  So, perhaps it's farewell to my individualistic attitude for now (but I really kind of doubt it).

So, getting back to the original issue on my mind on what I will associate with "my U.S." as these are the thoughts that will motivate me are my memories.  Aside from that, I will definitely miss:

Freedom to be

Sitting on a porch talking the days and nights away

Mixed media backgrounds in the company of a friend

DC excursions

Accessibility for communication

Driving aimlessly listening to whatever mix or nothing at all

Summer drunken downtown nights

Wine nights and Bottega

Having the option to have a cup of Java Dog coffee while going through a Bojangles drive-thru

I doubt I'll be able to have or do any of this a week from now for a while.

Finally, the most important aspect I will genuinely miss that I hit on earlier are the people that I spent time with.  I have truly amazing friends and acquaintances in Wilmington.  That was proved to me pretty overwhelmingly this past weekend on my final visit.  Thank you for all who came out to my goodbye party Friday, I had a blast and it was incredible to see everyone all jam packed in one night.  I'm so glad I had the opportunity to spend one more night with you all.  And, everyone else I saw this past weekend, thanks for making my last visit memorable and exciting.  Please do keep in touch as you are all in my thoughts; you and the interactions I've had with all of you are what I'll claim as my U.S. when speaking of my experiences in my new country.

P.S.  I wish I had more pictures to share from my goodbye party, but those there know that I was more into Polaroids than digital pictures.  

Missed Connections.

The phones were hung up and 2 people separated by the physical distance of 99 miles felt as if they were already a world away.

She looked down and saw the ink splats on her body recollecting the prior day’s events.  A tease of a routine Saturday afternoon in the presence of a best friend .  The thought then turned to the girl who saw her as that friend and the missed opportunity she had because of inevitable and predictable choice.  The guilt had got her and all she wanted to do in that moment was to call back the best friend she hung up with and unleash her guilt-ridden mind, but she knew she shouldn’t, that it would be better for the both of them to not continue on with the farce.

It’s strange how love manifests and who it is we choose to be near when the “final” clocks are ticking away at what we know to be real.  

And right now all your dreams are waking up.

This week is going to be a good one.  I'm finally reenergized and have the zest I've been missing since I left Wilmington.  I'm returning to Wilmington Wednesday to see good people and see if I can somehow feel the same I did when I knew that was my "home."  I'm excited.  Then, I'm off on a Hill excursion with a dear friend.  I get to happily return to Wilmington for a few more days before I finalize other last visits and long for my last visit to Wilmington.

All those thoughts contributed to my optimistic starting of the week, but it was set in stone once I received my Staging Kit for the Peace Corps.  My plans are finalized!  I'll call the Staging Office tomorrow to set up my flight from RDU to Philadelphia and then my part is done. (Update: I am leaving from RDU at 11:40 AM - goodbye NC).  My flight from JFK to Frankfurt (Germany!) to Baku has already been booked.  I am set to leave JFK at 9:35 PM Monday, September 22 arrive in Frankfurt 11:30 AM, September 23.  I then leave Frankfurt at 1:45 PM (not too shabby of a layover) to arrive in Baku at 9:05 PM.  

It is finally starting to hit me.  In less than a month, I will be living in an entirely different world known to me.  I'm starting to feel those varying notches in my stomach when thoughts turn to what's ahead, or the many loose ends I'm trying to tie up.

Goodbyes are starting to feel more permanent and I'm getting to be completely aware of the limited time I have to spend with people I love for this framework of time.  Things are changing at a rapid rate... it's a good thing that I've obsessed over flux enough to know it will continue in several directions (including my eventual arrival back to the States).  

My time back at my parent's hasn't been that delightful, but, really, none of that seems to matter anymore.  

It's time for me to hold on; things are about to start happening at an unfamiliar speed.

Packing for a new life.

This is my pack for Azerbaijan.  It is beautiful to me.  After searching on vacation in Chicago, I found this gem.  Which, ironically, I ended up purchasing back in Wilmington.

I started organizing through clothes and other things to decide what is and what is not going to go with me half way around the world and I've decided that packing this bag (and another I have not decided on yet) is going to be harder than I originally thought it would be.

But, for now, I'm content knowing I have finally purchased my pack to go with me next month.  And, icing on the cake, it's incredibly comfortable.

Less than 6 weeks!

Time is winding down for my time in this country.  I'm pretty much moved away from Wilmington now, though I will be returning for visits.  

I've been fielding questions about Azerbaijan all summer ranging from whether it's an actual country, what the etymology is, what major exports are, and probably a lot more.  So, if you're really interested, read over the Wikipedia site - it's decent enough to look at.  Also, here's the CIA world factbook page.  

Travel info coming soon!

Don't Forget to Breathe.

Tom Petty is over now and the night wasn't at all what I was expecting, though the result of the concert and weekend were what was needed in one aspect of my life. Fear of moving on has been holding me back quite a bit to the point of all communication being somewhere internal rather than open to the presence of the other.  It's time to relax and take everything in for the time I can.  As excited as I am to move on from this chapter, I can't hide the fact that I am more focusing on the prospective 'losses'.  

Counting down.

5 days till Tom Petty.

10/11 days till the last time I see Bethany until I return.

18 days till my trip to Chicago.

32 days till I'm officially off my lease.

52/53 days till my DC Morin trip.

75 days until I'm away from NC.

78 days and I'm in Azerbaijan.

I have no more weekends in Wilmington when I'm officially still living here - wow.

No public news, really.

It's been awhile though and I don't want you to think this is dead before it's even really begun.  I'm heading to REI this weekend to invest in a really good backpack for my trip.  This summer has pretty much been used for mental preparation, packing and storing physical items, and making sure I'm keeping some domestic ties.  Whatever it is going through my mind has been logged in a personal journal for now.  

I'm getting more and more excited as each day passes by.  It's kind of seeming more real as the time gets closer.  The date is still a bit away, but I'm slowly getting the sense of urgency and finality of my time now in the States.  This is going to be a good change.  I know that I've been struggling with the whole uprooting idea and leaving people... that's still around, but I'm coping quite well right now.  Perhaps it's me distancing myself or vice versa with the people in my life.  Whatever the case, the relationships that matter will still exist.

Don't Close Your Eyes, You Might Fall to Pieces.

I got my official invitation in the mail for the Peace Corps.

My assignment states as such: I will be in Azerbaijan (neighbor to Armenia and Georgia, below Russia, and right above Iran) and part of the AZ6 crowd.   I'm in the Youth Development program where I will be a Youth Development Facilitator.   I don't know where I go to staging at yet, I'll find that out a month out before my departure date.   I will be out of NC by September 20... I'll be out of the US by September 23 (my mom's birthday).   Once training is over, I'll be starting my official time as a Volunteer December 9, 2008 and will be finished with my service term December 8, 2010.   Wow.

I've been trying to cope with the immanent departure.  It's pretty heavy.  When I got my invitation, me and Heather drove around and ended up at Bottega.  It was honestly the best place for me to be.  I strummed the mandolin till some noise got out of my head and bonded in the rain.  It was pretty much perfect at times and reminded me that no matter if I'll be able to return and maintain the friend I have now, I'll always have that memory and shared past time with her/them.  The impact is what's real, right?  The present presence and the (perhaps glorified) memory of is, in the end, what's most important. 

The Beginning of Uprooting

I finally got the call yesterday... my invitation to be part of the Peace Corps.  I'll get my packet tomorrow or the beginning of next week.  It was sent off yesterday.

Yesterday was a pretty heavy day in between my realization of having to leave and my wanting to be here for someone I love.  It resulted in many tears, outbursts of tears, sitting on the Cape Fear, skeeball, and an idea of connectedness, understanding and purity... it was the closest to Truth that I think I've ever experienced.  It hurt.

I don't mean to be a baby about it all and make a blog the stereotypical egoist cryfest.  I will document great things in here for all the people who want to know about what's going and myself.  I intend to write more, too.  My Philosophy is crossing with the creative now and I want to write interesting ideas in an interesting medium that's not strictly academic.  And, perhaps, at the end of a blog, sometime, you'll feel, too.  And that will be our connection through time and space.  :)