I can just be, live, do things that I want to do without being watched, questioned or judged. I can eat straight from the pot I cooked in while typing this up. Whatever that may be inappropriate in the others' eyes is okay right now since I am alone and am just being.
These times are some of the most special to me and very needed. Life with host families, however nice and convenient, can be painstakingly exhausting. Having an audience 24/7 is difficult! Not that I don't like the people I live with, I just don't feel completely at ease anywhere in the apartment besides my room where I have nested and made into a little America.
I'm currently on the hunt for independent housing for April and while I am completely excited at the prospect of finally being able to live alone after almost 6 months of host family living, I don't know if I'll be able to appreciate the feeling I feel right now in my own home. Right now, here, these chunks of time when the host family isn't home is like a vacation... a break. Soon, it will be normal and the idealness of it all may fade...
... but I think I'll be okay with that.
1 comment:
I can't imagine. If Matt and I didn't have opposite schedules I don't know if we would get along as well. Don't get me wrong, I love being around him... but sometimes you just want quiet, your computer and a coffee (or glass of wine). You want slippers at noon, two hours to organize playlists for no reason, leftovers cold and straight from the tupperware, or a handful of M&Ms for lunch.
You could do those things around others... it's not just that you think they'll judge you... it's just easier when you're by yourself.
Your own place, in a foreign country! You're amazing.
I feel much better and am going to post office tomorrow to ship off your package-- let me know if you think of ANY last minute requests!
<3
Post a Comment